Research is still continuing in this area, but there are studies that show our genes do in fact influence how easy it is to gain weight and carry fat. Some people simply were born with genetics that make weight gain easier, to some degree. There's a wide range of variability in every aspect of weight gain, response to overeating, response to dieting, hormone levels, how impulsive and susceptible we are to energy dense foods, etc.
However -- you can't jump to conclusions about your own genetics. Comparing yourself to other people's weight, or how easy or hard it seems to be for other people lose weight, is hardly scientific. The only way to know for sure if you have any of the identified obesity genes is to get genetically tested. Even then, what good would that do?
The real question is this: Let's say you do happen to be unlucky enough to have some part of the so-called "fat genes" or you have a "thrifty metabolism" -- are you destined to be fat? Are you genetically "doomed" to always be overweight? Is it a losing battle?
Consider this fact: A century ago, humans carried the exact same genes we do today -- yet very few people had obesity. In other words, the same percentage of the human population has always had the supposed obesity genes -- yet centuries ago, very few people were obese or even overweight. So it is clear than genes alone aren't making people fat. There must be some other difference between then, and now, causing this situation.
What is it? Our environment and lifestyle. Our food (convenient, energy dense foods readily available), and our activity level (more desk jobs, driving everywhere, sitting all day).
Here's something interesting to think about. The people who became obese hundreds of years ago were the royalty, the wealthy, the kings and queens who had access to all the food they wanted and did not have to perform physical labor. The common classes were all lean because they did physical labor and food wasn't quite so convenient or abundant for them. Today, people living in first world countries are basically living like those kings and queens.
So the short answer is no, no one is doomed to become fat even if they've inherited "bad" genes. In reality, ALL except a tiny percentage of the human population have the genes to become overweight in the right environment -- which is today's environment.
Except in rare cases, our genetics don't make us fat, they simply make us more susceptible to a fattening environment. And the good news is that to a large degree we can control our environment.
A fattening environment only causes obesity among those who are likely not even aware of what's really happening, and have no tools to deal with it.
The concept of a body weight "set point" is a controversial area of research.
The very definition of a set point isn't all that clear, but generally, it could be describes as the weight at which your body "decides" is best and does everything it can to stay at.
The fact is, there is a certain minimal amount of fat your body has to have to stay healthy. Extreme lower limits of body fat are roughly 3-5% for men and 7-9% for women (levels that bodybuilders often aim for). As someone gets closer and closer to that fat level, your body resists harder and harder. One could say those lower levels are a "normal" set point.
Also, the regulated fat levels of your body can also change with puberty, pregnancy, menopause and other hormonal changes.
The real questions we all want answered are:
Research is inconclusive regarding #1 and #2. But if there is any hardwired biology involved, it's more likely a range and not a specific weight. In other words, even if certain people tend to carry more fat, there's still a range within which your body is willing to adapt to, so you can at the very least attain the lower end of that range.
The answer to #3 is just like the obesity gene discussion: You are not doomed; it is not futile. We know that the body does "fight back" when energy balance is disrupted as you lose weight, and metabolism *might* be lowered somewhat after weight loss in some people (as discussed in Metabolic Adjustments) ... but it's abundantly clear that you can overcome those adaptations.
Sure, it stinks that there are some aspects of our genes and biology that are out of our control. But those things don't need to determine what we can achieve with weight loss or body fat levels.
Your food intake along with your physical activity overcomes any metabolic limitations and determines your weight. And -- with the right strategies, it is also possible to strike a balance between eating a weight-controlling diet and still enjoying food -- on a lifetime basis.